Home or funeral hall: where to hold the farewell

Georgian tradition: a loved one under the family roof

A farewell at home is a deep part of our culture. The person spends their last days within the walls where they lived their life, the family stays close, and neighbours, relatives and friends come to the door to express their sympathy. For many this is the most natural and warmest form of farewell, and if conditions allow, it is best to do just that. We are not urging anyone to change the tradition. We simply help the family assess honestly how workable it is in a particular flat and in particular circumstances.

The hall: an answer to city life

Funeral halls spread across Tbilisi because the city itself changed. In the old quarters families lived in houses with courtyards; today most people live in high-rise blocks, often in small flats. A hall offers a spacious, well-kept room that guests can enter and leave freely, and it takes part of the burden of hospitality off the family. The essence of the tradition stays the same: the panikhida (memorial prayer service), the condolences, the chance to stay with your loved one through the night. Details are on our funeral hall page.

Flat size and room layout

The first thing to assess is the room where the deceased will lie. It needs space for the coffin, often for a refrigerated unit too, and enough room around it for guests to walk past and stand for a moment. The family also needs a second room to rest in, and visitors need somewhere to sit. In a two-room flat all of this is a tight squeeze, especially if there are children or someone unwell in the family. If clearing the room means carrying out almost all the furniture, that is already a strong argument for a hall.

Floor, lift and getting the coffin through

Many people realise only at the last moment that a coffin is not ordinary furniture. It is long and heavy and has to be carried horizontally. In many older buildings the lift is cramped and the coffin will not fit, while the stair banisters create tight turns. On a high floor this becomes a worry twice: when the deceased is brought home, and on the morning of the procession, when every eye is on the cortege. Our team works in difficult stairwells too, but if you know in advance that the way through is very narrow, that is one more reason to lean towards a hall.

How many people will come

In a Georgian family, coming to offer condolences is considered a duty, and the number of visitors often exceeds expectations: relatives, neighbours, colleagues, school and university friends, the children's colleagues. Several hundred people may come in a single day to say goodbye to someone who was active in public life. In a flat that means a queue on the stairs, an overcrowded room and an exhausted family. If you expect a lot of visitors, it is better to think about a spacious venue straight away than to realise on the third day that the flat can no longer hold everyone.

Neighbours and the shared stairwell

In Georgian apartment blocks neighbours generally treat a grieving family with sympathy and often pitch in themselves: carrying out chairs, greeting visitors. Still, it is worth remembering that a farewell lasting several days changes life in the shared spaces. People stand in the stairwell until late, the lift is overloaded, cars park in the yard. If a family with a newborn, someone seriously ill or an elderly person living alone shares the building, a short conversation in advance is always a kindness. Sometimes it is exactly such a delicate circumstance that makes a hall the more sensible choice.

A private house with a yard: the tent option

If the family lives in a private house with a yard, the picture is quite different. The deceased lies in the house, while a funeral tent is put up in the yard for visitors, where people stand and sit sheltered from rain and sun. This traditional arrangement is still the most common one on the outskirts of the city and in villages, and it is often even better than a hall, because the family remains on its own ground. A tent costs from 250 GEL and is sized to fit the yard. The main things to check are the size of the yard, its surface and lighting after dark.

The family's strength and the night vigil

A farewell at home makes heavy physical demands on the family. By tradition someone stays with the deceased through the night, and during the day relatives sit by the coffin and receive condolences. Several such days, combined with lack of sleep and grief, are very hard to bear, especially for an elderly husband or wife. With a hall, the family can go home for the night and rest while the deceased remains under reliable supervision. This does not signal any lack of respect: relatives who have rested receive their guests with more dignity the next morning.

Hospitality and household chores

With a farewell at home, the family effectively becomes the host: guests must be offered coffee, water and sometimes something comforting to eat, and female relatives may be busy in the kitchen from morning till night. Cleaning the flat, collecting chairs and washing up seem like small things at first, but over several days they become a heavy load. In a hall, staff take on part of these tasks, and the family can focus solely on remembering their loved one and talking with guests. If the family is small and there are few helpers among the relatives, this factor weighs especially heavily.

Season and weather

In summer, heat in the flat is an ordeal both for the guests and for the deceased: a room full of people warms up quickly, and open windows do not always help. In winter, by contrast, people standing in the stairwell and the yard get cold, yet letting everyone into the flat is impossible. A hall depends less on the season, since it has heating and air conditioning. At a private house a tent protects against bad weather, although in the cold months heating it has to be arranged separately.

Parking and access to the house

Some guests come by car, and in many districts of Tbilisi that is a challenge of its own. Narrow streets, packed courtyards and scarce parking spaces often create chaos for as long as the farewell lasts, and on the morning of the procession the hearse and the bus need to pull up right at the door. A hall usually has its own car park, which makes things much easier for guests. If you are planning a farewell at home, think about where people will leave their cars, and ask the neighbours in advance to clear the yard by the morning of the procession.

Elderly relatives

In many families, the people who most want to come and say goodbye are elderly relatives, often the same age as the deceased: a sister, a brother, a childhood friend. Climbing to the fifth floor without a lift may be beyond them, and in a packed room it is hard to find a seat. A hall has a wide entrance, a ramp and armchairs, so older people can come calmly and spend time near their loved one. If it matters to the family that the older generation can say goodbye without difficulty, take this argument seriously.

Comparing costs in broad terms

Many people assume a farewell at home costs almost nothing. That is only partly true. For the deceased to lie at home with dignity, a refrigerated coffin is often needed, at 80 GEL a day, and at a private house a tent for guests, from 250 GEL. Add to that refreshments for visitors, crockery and chairs. A hall costs 300 GEL per day, and that price covers the room, cleaning and arrangements for the night. So the difference is often smaller than it first appears, and the choice depends more on convenience and the family's strength than on price.

A mixed option: both home and hall

Many families find a middle way that keeps the tradition and eases the practical difficulties. For the first night or the first days the deceased lies at home, where the closest family say goodbye in a quiet, private setting. On the last day they are moved to a hall, where the wider circle, colleagues and distant relatives come, and the procession sets off from there. This plan needs one extra transfer, but it gives the family the advantages of both forms. Discuss this option in the first call, so that the hall can be booked in time.

Comparison at a glance

To-do list if you choose home

• measure the room and decide where the coffin and the refrigerated unit will go;
• check how big the lift is and how tight the stair turns are, or describe both to the team;
• clear a second room so the relatives have somewhere to rest;
• gather chairs, crockery and water for guests;
• let the neighbours know and ask them to clear the yard on the morning of the procession;
• share the night watches among family members so that nobody is worn out;
• at a private house, choose a spot for the tent in advance and arrange lighting.

To-do list if you choose a hall

• book the hall as early as possible and confirm the number of days;
• estimate roughly how many people will come so the right size of hall can be chosen;
• decide which family members will stay with the deceased during the day;
• bring a photograph, an icon or other personal items that will make the room truly yours;
• give relatives and friends the exact address and visiting hours;
• agree the time of the panikhida in the hall with the spiritual father;
• think ahead about where the memorial meal (kelekhi in Georgian) will be held after the procession.

Frequently asked questions