Secular farewell - a personal ceremony without religious rites

Shape of a secular ceremony

A secular farewell has no fixed rules, and that is its strength: it becomes exactly what the family wants it to be. Even so, most ceremonies follow a similar outline:

1. Welcome: the celebrant greets the guests and briefly explains why everyone has gathered.
2. Life story: the celebrant or a family member talks about the person's life - where they were born, what they loved, what they did and what people will remember them for.
3. Tributes: friends, colleagues, children or grandchildren say a few words, and someone may read a poem or a letter.
4. Music: live or recorded, the person's favourite songs or a classical piece.
5. A minute of silence: time for private thoughts and, for guests who believe, a quiet prayer.
6. Farewell: guests come forward one at a time to the coffin or the portrait to lay a flower or light a candle.

What the arrangement includes

The ceremony is added on top of the usual funeral services - coffin, transport, documents and grave - which are arranged through our packages from 1,200 GEL. If the ceremony takes place after cremation, with an urn, the overall cost is usually lower.

Meeting the celebrant

Preparation begins with an hour-long conversation with the family, at home, in our office or over the phone. The celebrant asks about the person's life: where they grew up, who their family were, what work they did, what they loved, what jokes they told and which of their sayings people still repeat. From that conversation the celebrant writes the text of the ceremony and sends it to the family beforehand, so that everything is accurate and nothing unwanted slips in. The family decides who will speak, in what order and which music will be played.

Possible venues for the ceremony

• In a funeral hall: the most common choice, with space for guests, a screen and musicians.
• At home or in the courtyard: more intimate, for the family circle, often beside the coffin on the last day of the farewell.
• At the cemetery: a short ceremony at the graveside before the coffin is lowered, with portable sound equipment.
• Somewhere that meant a lot to the person: a garden, a country house or a cultural venue, for example, if the owner agrees and the ceremony is held with an urn or only with a portrait.

Choosing the music

Music is the heart of a secular ceremony. Some families choose classical works, such as an adagio or a movement from a requiem; others pick a Georgian folk song the person loved, and others still a popular song tied to their youth. There is no "wrong" music as long as it reflects the person. We offer live performance on violin, cello or piano, or recordings played through a good-quality sound system. A ceremony usually has three or four musical moments: as guests arrive, after the life story, during the minute of silence and at the farewell.

Photographs and a short film

Photographs on a screen bring a ceremony to life: guests see the person as a child, at their wedding, with their children, at work and on their travels. The family sends us twenty to fifty pictures, and we edit them into a short film with music, shown at the end of the ceremony or while guests are coming in. The film stays with the family afterwards, and many show it again when relatives gather on the fortieth day or a year later.

Symbolic gestures

In a religious rite many actions carry meanings shaped over centuries, whereas in a secular ceremony the family chooses its own symbols. Some ask every guest to place a flower by the coffin or portrait, others light candles, and others hand out cards on which guests write down a single memory, and the cards are kept by the family. A keen gardener or nature lover is sometimes remembered by planting a tree, a musician by placing their instrument beside the portrait. The celebrant helps the family develop these ideas and weaves the gesture into the ceremony so that it feels natural.

If the person left their own wishes

Some people tell their family while they are still alive what kind of send-off they want: which song should be played, who should speak, or that nobody at the table should cry and everyone should share funny stories instead. Some put it in writing. Wishes like these become the foundation of the ceremony, and the celebrant often tells guests that the farewell takes this form at the person's own request. That helps guests embrace an unfamiliar format wholeheartedly.

If some of the family are believers

It often happens that the person was not religious while part of the family, or older relatives, are believers and would like a prayer too. One does not rule out the other. The minute of silence in a secular ceremony gives believers a chance to pray quietly, and some families also hold a short panikhida (an Orthodox memorial service) in church or at home, before or after the secular ceremony. Our celebrant handles this balance with care, so that nobody on either side feels pushed aside.

Secular ceremonies and cremation

Non-religious families often choose cremation as well, and a secular ceremony fits naturally with it. The farewell can take place before cremation, with the coffin, or afterwards, with the urn, which gives the family more time to prepare and lets relatives from far away arrive. Placing the urn in a grave or a columbarium can happen the same day, at the end of the ceremony, or separately within the family circle.

A table after the ceremony

Even after a secular farewell, most families hold a Georgian memorial meal, the kelekhi, because it is not only a religious custom but a deeply cultural one. The table can be traditional, with a tamada (toastmaster), or more relaxed, as a buffet where guests share memories. We arrange either format, in a restaurant or at home.

A ceremony in another language

For foreigners living in Georgia and for mixed families, the ceremony is often held in two languages: Georgian plus English, Russian or the family's native tongue. The celebrant prepares the text in both languages, or a family member translates the main parts, and we make the captions in the photo film bilingual.

Recording the ceremony

Many families ask us to record a secular ceremony, especially the words of friends and children. These tributes often paint the truest portrait of the person, and families want their grandchildren to hear them one day. We offer a video recording or audio only, delivered to the family a few days later, and for those who cannot attend, a live stream via a private link. Some families collect the texts of the speeches and print a small booklet to give to relatives at the 40th-day memorial.

Advice for those who will speak

Many people who plan to speak at the ceremony feel nervous and ask how to prepare. The celebrant offers a few simple tips: speak for two to four minutes, choose one concrete memory over general praise, write the text down on paper, and do not worry if your voice wavers. The celebrant is always ready to help a speaker, or to read their words aloud if emotions run too high.

Frequently asked questions