After the funeral: what to sort out in the first months

One notebook for everything

The first piece of advice after the funeral is simple: keep one place where every task, number and date is written down. It might be a paper notebook, a shared document on your phone or a family group chat. Note whom you called, what they told you, which paper they asked for and who has taken the job on. When several relatives are handling things in parallel, these notes prevent double work and arguments. Keep the deceased's personal ID number there too, along with their account numbers and any contacts found in their phone or papers.

Several copies of the death certificate

The death certificate is the key document of the first months: the bank, the employer, the insurance company, the notary, the utility providers and the mobile operator will all ask for it. Keep the original safely at home and make several copies for your errands, some of them notarised where required. Some institutions accept a copy, others need to see the original, so check in advance. Also keep a copy of the medical certificate, the receipts for funeral expenses and any contracts: you may need them for reimbursement and insurance claims.

Informing the employer

If the deceased was working, let their employer know as soon as possible and hand over a copy of the certificate. While you are at it, find out whether any salary or other payments are still owed, whether they had insurance through work, and where to return work property such as a laptop, keys or a pass. Some organisations help the family with funeral costs and ask for receipts for this. Do not forget your own employer either: explain the situation and ask about leave or flexible hours, since many of these errands have to be done during working time.

The bank: accounts, cards and loans

It is the family who must inform the bank of the death, by visiting a branch with the certificate. After that the bank, as a rule, restricts transactions on the accounts, and the heirs receive the balance on the basis of a document issued by a notary. Do not use the deceased's card and PIN, even if you know it: this will cause problems later. If they had a loan, an instalment plan or a credit card, ask the bank how the obligation will be handled and whether it was insured. Check standing orders and automatic transfers separately.

Pension and social benefits

If the deceased received a pension or another social benefit, the information reaches the state databases once the death is registered, but it is still worth contacting the relevant state agency yourself. That way you will learn whether any amount remains unpaid, whether anything paid in excess must be returned, and whether the family is entitled to any assistance or a recalculation of its own payments. An elderly spouse or a family member with a disability may see a change in status or benefits, so check that as well. Take the certificate, your own ID and your bank details.

Utilities and contracts

Electricity, gas, water, rubbish collection, internet and television are often registered in the deceased's name. These services are not cut off straight away, and you need to keep paying for them so that no debt builds up. Transferring an account to the new owner usually happens after the inheritance has been formalised, so until then it is enough to tell the companies about the situation and pay from your own card. Check subscriptions too: the gym, a magazine, online services, a monthly insurance premium. Some of them are debited automatically and need a separate request to cancel.

The mobile number

Many families do not want their loved one's number disconnected: it holds contacts, photos and voice messages, and the number itself is often linked to the bank and other accounts. It is better to keep it active for a few months and top up the balance until all the accounts are settled, because confirmation codes often arrive on that very number. Then go to the operator with the certificate and ask whether the number can be transferred to a family member. Move important photos and recordings from the phone to a safe place well beforehand.

Online accounts and social media

Email, social networks, cloud storage and messengers make up a loved one's digital life. Large platforms usually offer two options: delete the account or turn it into a memorial page where friends can leave memories, while logging in and making changes are restricted. To do either, you contact the platform's support team with a copy of the certificate. Agree within the family who will take this on and what everyone wants. If your relative had paid subscriptions or accounts with online shops, close those as well, so that no more money is taken.

Car and property

Find the documents for the flat, land or car and put them in one folder: registry extracts, the vehicle registration document, purchase contracts, survey drawings. The notary will need all of them. Until the property has been transferred to an heir, it generally cannot be sold or given away, so do not make agreements with buyers in advance. If you are using the car, remember the insurance and any fines, which will still arrive in the owner's name. If nobody is staying in the flat, think about its security: gas, water, keys and a neighbour's contact.

Inheritance: see a notary in good time

Property, accounts and other rights pass to the heirs through a notary, and the law sets a deadline for accepting an inheritance. So go to a notary within the first weeks, even if you have not yet gathered every document: they will tell you which deadline applies in your case and which papers you need. Usually they ask for the death certificate, the IDs of all heirs, birth or marriage certificates proving the relationship, and the property documents. If there is a will, bring it with you. If an heir lives abroad, ask the notary what options exist for them without travelling.

Insurance payouts

Check whether the deceased had life insurance, a policy tied to a loan, health insurance through work or car insurance. Policies often have a deadline for making a claim, so do not put this off. The insurer will usually need the certificate, the medical certificate, the policy number and the beneficiary's ID, and sometimes the forensic findings as well. Write the dates of every contact and every answer in your shared notebook. If you do not know whether there was a policy, look through the bank statements: a regular premium often gives it away.

Preparing for the 40th-day memorial

The fortieth day (the 40th-day memorial, called ormotsi in Georgian) is counted from the day of death, and families often find it arrives unexpectedly soon, since it falls right in the middle of the paperwork and the bank visits. Before then you need to arrange things with the priest, choose a time to visit the cemetery, find a place for the memorial meal and draw up a guest list. Share these jobs among relatives a few weeks ahead so that nothing is rushed at the last minute. If your energy is simply not there at the moment, the funeral home can take over organising the 40th-day memorial, from the church to the table.

A headstone by the first anniversary

A headstone is usually put up in time for the first anniversary, once the soil on the grave has settled. Choosing one, however, takes time: the material, the size, a ceramic photo or an engraved portrait, the inscription and the approval of the design. That is why it is worth starting to think about it several months ahead. Agree within the family on the wording and the photograph early on, because this is where opinions most often differ. Ask the cemetery administration whether there are restrictions on size and shape. Options and production stages are described on our granite headstone page.

Looking after the grave in the first months

A fresh grave needs the most attention: the soil sinks, wreaths and flowers wilt, and a temporary cross or plaque can be damaged by wind and rain. Families often go to the cemetery every week or on Saturdays, but if you live far away or are no longer young, that is not easy. Agree in the family who will look after the grave and how often, or turn to a specialist service. Our grave care service includes regular cleaning and fresh flowers, which is especially convenient when the family has settled far away, in another town or even another country.

Funeral costs and paying in instalments

If you are paying for the funeral in instalments, put the payment schedule in your shared notebook and set reminders on your phone. Agree among relatives in advance who covers which share, so that no misunderstandings arise later. A reimbursement from an employer or an insurer can go towards exactly these costs. How this kind of payment works and on what terms is explained in detail on our page about paying for a funeral in instalments.

Your own health and grief

After the funeral the tension drops, and that is when many people feel exhaustion, sleeplessness, loss of appetite or a flare-up of old health problems. It is the body's natural response. Try to eat regularly, walk at least a little each day and do not turn down help from friends. Grief has its own rhythm: some days are easier, others suddenly become unbearably heavy, especially birthdays and holidays. If months later you still cannot return to ordinary life, talk to your family doctor or a psychologist. Asking for help is not a weakness.

Caring for older family members

When one spouse dies, the other is often left alone in a home where everything used to be done together. In the first months that person needs special attention: regular calls, visits, help with medication and with the bills the late spouse used to handle. Check whether they understand the bank, the pension and the utility payments, if those were always the deceased's responsibility. Do not make big decisions for them, such as selling the house or moving in with you; offer them choices and give them time.

Action plan: what to settle and when

This sequence is only a guide: every family's circumstances differ, and you will deal with some matters sooner and others later.

Frequently asked questions